


Roll for Initiative

by EnviousHera



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Ben is a creep, Creeps and Geeks, Creepy Fluff, Dark Reylo, Darkfic, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dungeons and Dragons, F/M, Geek Ben Solo, Geek Love, Horror, Jealousy, Love Letters, Obsession, Obsessive Kylo Ren, Parties, Pining, Possessive Ben Solo, Psychological Horror, Public Masturbation, Recreational Drug Use, Secret Crush, Stalking, Underage Drinking, Unreliable Narrator, White trash living, masturbation kink, unreliable author, why finish a fic when i can start a new one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 04:02:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21439897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnviousHera/pseuds/EnviousHera
Summary: Geeky Ben Solo aches for pretty Rey. He has to have her, he must. It's all up to the roll of the dice.
Relationships: Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 37
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

"Uhhh... Roll for a perception check." Armitage mumbled through a mouth full of chips while scratching notes down in his DM book. 

It's another late Saturday night, the decided night that we all cram into Poe's garage and sneak some beers and smoke cigarettes since his parents are always away. It used to be just us boys. But then Finn invited Rose, and Rose brought Kaydel who has now _insisted_ Rey join us... 

I had no complaints there. Ever since she walked in, I'd been practically _speechless_. Something about her cute, blunt hair cut and her constellation spattering of freckles and her huge smile. She was even wearing a really rad Siouxsie and the Banshees shirt... I'd seen her around school. She wasn't totally new, but still new and shiny to me. 

She liked to party. That much was clear from how quickly she chugged her beers. Even her belches were kind of cute, if not mostly totally unexpected.

Rey wiped her mouth and grinned at me while she smashed the can with the bottom of her shoe. "Whoops. Not very lady like. Sorry." And winked.

That was all it took. I was struck and stuck. I wanted to jerk off under the table. Desperately. I wanted her to see me doing it. Just the idea of getting caught made me shiver a little. Fuck. 

But my friends being there was the only thing that kept me in check. I tore my eyes away and frowned down at my lap. Stupid dick. Stupid friends. Stupid impulse control. I stamped out my cigarette and blew the smoke up towards the garage ceiling that had nicotine drips. 

I had to wait. Had to be patient, and not be a total pervert.

Damn it. 

I tried to busy myself with taking notes and looking up spells. I noticed a huge bruise running up my arm and furrowed my brow. Where the hell did that come from? I poked at it a few times with the cap of my pen and grit my teeth and that horrible throbbing pain. Where did this come from? I forgot about it soon, though, and I was drawn every minute or so to glance (okay, more _stare_ than glance) up at her, seated to my right. Her and the girls had all played before apparently, but they didn't seem too keen on playing as seriously as we usually did. Which was kind of nice, mostly annoying. 

Kaydel rolled her die and giggled obnoxiously. 

"Uh... I got 17. So I'm definitely able to like, fuck the dragon, right?" 

My head snapped up, totally confused. She just grinned wildly at Armi, who was oddly easygoing about all the Tom Foolery going on. He was usually such a shit heel about _"playing correctly"_. The worst kind of Dungeon Master. 

He simply shrugged, a rare smile spreading across his face. "And Gorgarothia fucks the dragon."

Everyone started whooping and hollering, cheersing their cans of beer in celebration. I took the opportunity to steal another look at Rey again while I sipped my beer. She was laughing so hard that she was crying. Her cheeks were bright pink and the weird laughs and snorts she made were undeniably adorable. I even laughed, although I was notorious for having 'no sense of humor'. 

The night sort of played on like that for a long time, everyone goofing around and none of us making much progress. At one point Rey grabbed my knee in excitement when Finn's half orc nearly died, but I cast a protective spell and saved him at the last minute. 

"Nice fucking saving throw, Ben." She whispered to me, a little awe struck.

It was kind of weird, since I'd never been too into the idea of anyone touching me... Nor was I really all that used to attention from girls. I wasn't ugly, I guess, but my shitty attitude and nonexistent people skills didn't leave me with much choice. 

But Rey had singed me to the bone, and my sweaty hands were aching to alleviate my stupid aching erection. I was a good boy, though. I just lightly rubbed it here and there. Everyone was too busy to notice, anyways. I chewed on my lip as I extinguished my last cigarette into my 6th empty beer can. At least I could handle my booze, unlike my dad...

The campaign, a simple one shot, ended around 2:20am and everyone helped clean up, exchanged phone numbers. I hung back, too nervous to even _attempt_ to think of asking Rey for her number. I'd been with only two other girls before and they weren't half as good looking as Rey... 

I was too lanky, too quiet, too pale. Probably too weird and serious... I was starting to feel really bad for myself when suddenly, she had me cornered and was writing her number on the back of my hand before I knew what to do. Her cool fingers brushed against my bruised arm and I stared at it for a moment. There was a light electricity to her touch. I had to try not breathing so hard. 

"Call me sometime. I like ice cream." She smiled as she slid on her heavy black parka. I could only nod, transfixed. I'd lick any kind of ice cream she wanted from her tan skin. Any part of her skin. Anything she wanted, I'd give it to her. 

Jesus. Already in love and we didn't even have a conversation.

••••

The walk home was only two streets away, but I was too late when I realized I'd missed my chance to offer to walk her home. I was worried about her walking alone, so I held back and walked through the woods to make sure she made it home okay. 

I didn't want to freak her out, but I also didn't want to get caught. It was sort of exhilarating, in a weird way, to watch her jump on crunchy leaves and giggle to herself, having no idea I was trailing behind like some kind of secret agent. Like a private detective, a fly on the wall. 

I was so entranced, I stupidly tripped over a big, fallen branch but recovered quickly enough to hide behind a tree. Rey froze and spun around, briefly terrified until her eyes rested on where I was hiding. My heart pumped violently in my throat while I watched behind a tree, thinking I'd been caught and the jig was up, until she simply smiled and turned back around and kept skipping drunkenly. 

I caught my breath for a minute before continuing on, making sure to be as quiet as possible this time. I stopped a house away to hide behind a car and watch her crawl through her window at an especially shitty house. She left the window cracked open and flicked her light on. I shuffled a little closer, right into a bush in her yard and peaked out to look into her window. 

At first, I couldn't see much because my eyesight is such shit but then... She turned around to face the window and I realized was only in a pair of black panties, holding something in her hand that was smoking. A cigarette maybe. My heart stopped and my mouth dropped wide open. Holy shit. My cock twitched in my jeans and blush flooded my face. 

She was just tits out to the world, not a care to give. 

Holy shit. This is wrong. This is wrong. I should leave... But I didn't. Oh, come on. 😌Y😌Who in their right fucking mind _would?_

My dick was rock hard and before even thinking about it, I unbuttoned my jeans and pulled myself out to jerk off. It'd been almost two days since I'd made myself cum, and I'd be a total idiot not to now. Not taking advantage of this pretty little thing in full view of me, unbeknownst to her... I couldn't resist. 

It was the hottest thing I'd ever done. 

I watched her drunkenly amble around her tiny room, muttering to herself as she traced whatever was in her hand in the air. Who knows how long I crept in that bush, stroking myself quickly and roughly, biting back my groans until I came all over myself. She finally shut her light off a minute later. Then she was snoring. Loudly. 

I sat in the bush for a while, letting the cum on my jeans harden to a crust and daydreaming like a total creep. I was going to call her. I was going to take her on a date. I was gonna get her in the backseat of my dad's car and touch every single inch of that pretty little body. I needed her. I craved her. Desired, longed... All of it. 

It was too intense, suddenly to much to bare. The sun was coming up and I had to force myself to leave. I was so tired...

But I couldn't rest until she was mine.


	2. Chapter 2

I tried my best to wait the socially acceptable three days to call Rey. I really did. But I found myself dialing Rey's number up by 2:30pm of the first day. Sunday. I couldn't help it. Rey was all I could think about, I didn't even sleep... And it was getting worse. 

Rey, Rey, Rey. 

I must have jerked my dick nearly raw that morning. Multiple times. It hurt. I just couldn't get the idea of Rey watching me masturbate in front of Rey. Would Rey like that? Would Rey think I was some sick, perverted fuck? I wasn't. I just liked Rey. A lot. 

I bit my lip as I took my usual place at my window, quickly sliding my hand into my pajama pants and wincing at how raw my dick felt. But I tried to ignore it. I had better things to think about. Like Rey...

Sucking my dick under the D&D table. Or just sitting on the table, watching me touch myself for her and her loving it. Rey would praise me, stroke my hair while I stroked myself. I came for the fourth... Sixth... Seventh time? It didn't matter. Rey was driving me fucking crazy. I had to call her.

Rey answered half way through the first ring. 

"Hello?" Rey sounded a little out of breath as she answered. Shit. Did I interrupt something important?

"Oh. Rey. Uh... Hi. It's Ben. Ben Solo?"

Stupid. So fucking lame. Rey must hate me. I hate me. I should just hang up and -

Rey giggled, the most amazing symphony. "Hey, Ben. What's up?"

I curled the phone cord around my finger, my hands pouring sweat. It took me a minute to think of a reason to call Rey, other than just wanting to hear Rey's sweet little voice. God, I needed to see Rey. 

Immediately. 

"Oh, nothin'..." I was absolutely panicking, choking. Fuck. Think. _Think,_ you moron. "You... You said you liked ice cream? Do you..." I puffed a quick, staggered breath. "Do you...?"

Sweat dripped down my brow. I couldn't even finish my question. What if Rey laughed at me? Rejected me? I'd have to kill myself. That was the only solution. I'd never felt this way about a girl before. Rey was just so _pretty_ -

Jesus Christ, I was gonna have a fucking heart attack. I clutched my chest and bit my lip hard enough to draw a little blood. "Do you... Want... To... To..."

"Do I want to get some ice cream...? Hell yeah. Wanna pick me up?" I could hear the smile in Rey's voice and it made my eyelids flutter and I exhaled loudly through my nose, just imagining it. Oh, thank the Maker. Rey wanted to see me. Good. Rey was such a good... Good person? Good looking person. Girl. Pretty girl. Pretty Rey. 

My pulse slammed and whooshed in my head too loud, like I had my ear to a seashell. Rey had such soft skin. My knees were wobbling and my hand was slippery as I gripped the phone for dear life. Was I dying? I wondered what Rey was wearing. It was probably pretty. 

"Ben? I said I'm ready to go. Like right now..." Rey said, and I realized too late that I was just huffing into the phone like a total creep instead of saying anything. Rey. I was just so... Dizzy. 

"I'm on my way." I managed and slammed the phone down too hard. 

I sank down onto the floor and held my head in my hands, trying to just breathe. Rey. Oh god. Okay. Get it together. Get it together. _Get it to-fucking-gether, Benjamin._ I had to see Rey. Rey was waiting for me. Rey. 

_Pretty Rey. _

My body felt strange, like I had no real control of it. I somehow made it back upright, and walked jerkily to the key dish and tried to pick up my dad's keys several times before I finally got a good grasp. Rey had nice hair. Luckily, dad was asleep in his chair since he spent the morning getting drunk. Yet again. 

What can I say? Divorces were hard. 

Driving was hard, too, apparently.

Rey. Not that I hadn't ever driven before. But this was... Shit, what was happening to me? Rey. I was a teenage boy possessed. It must have been love, had to be. Like in the books we read in class. Romeo and Juliet. They killed each other because they couldn't handle how much they loved each other. I think. I couldn't remember anymore. It didn't matter anyways. Rey was waiting. 

Rey was waiting outside for me wearing a black leather jacket and torn black jeans. I could see parts of Rey's tan legs and I wanted to throw myself from the car and kiss the ground Rey walked on, disgustingly jealous of anything that was able to touch Rey. 

All I could do was gulp down shallow breaths and watch with an open, gaping mouth like some kind of stupid fish as Rey slid into the car and smiled at me. 

"The diner. Up there." Rey pointed and folded her arms, crossed her legs. 

I nodded and tried my best not to crash the car from staring. Rey was like the sun. So pretty. Very pretty. 

Too pretty. 

The diner was crowded. I followed close behind Rey on an invisible leash, wound up too tight to exist. Someone almost bumped into her and I growled. I'd kill them. Slaughter them. Unleash the barbarian in me. Crush them with my fucking hands like a beast. 

We sat down, and Rey ordered a sundae for us to share but the very thought of food made me sick. My hand launched out to reach for hers, a tight fist clenched hard enough to leave bloody crescent moons exposed when I finally unlocked my fingers. Pretty Rey. 

Rey softly stroked my hand with those pretty, soft and cool fingers of hers, scraping her long nails softly against my flesh. I nearly fainted.

"Ben..? Are you okay?"

My eyes snapped out of my laser focus on her hand to see her big hazel eyes looking at me with concern. _So. Pretty_. I ground my teeth and nodded once, to wound up to do much else. I touched Rey. I touched her. I touched her. And Rey. Touched. Me. 

My neck seized up suddenly while I stared at her, a weird chill running up and down my body and springing up goose bumps. I was twitching uncontrollably for some reason. Ow. I was tense enough I might explode. 

Rey frowned, and her eyes narrowed. 

"Actually... Take me home."

"...Kay." 

I followed her, stumbling along. The twitch couldn't stop. Wouldn't. Rey had nice tan skin. I wanted to see the contrast of my cum across it. I bet it'd look pretty, like Rey. Pretty Rey. 

Suddenly, we were at Rey's home. I couldn't remember the drive there. She was dragging me up her lawn, and then pushing me through the front door. It smelled like Rey. Smelled pretty. Rey lived here. I loved Rey. I did. La la loved her. Rey slammed the door shut and locked it. 

Rey sighed and shoved me to the floor in the living room and I fell right down, unable to even catch myself. I think it might have hurt but I didn't really care. Rey touched me. Rey had walked on this floor. I took a deep breath in through my nose and shuddered. Rey walked here. Fuck this floor. She should just walk on me. I'd be her floor forever. I hate this floor. 

Rey was muttering to herself, too low to hear. She sounded mad. Was it my fault? I should fucking kill myself. Or whoever upset her. Fuck them. I hope they died. Bastards. I'd kill them. I'd kill anyone who ever looked at Rey. I loved Rey. 

I couldn't move. Rey. 

Rey straddled my hips and I was happy. I was nearly convulsing with this weird twitch but that was fine because Rey was like a centimeter away from my dick and I could just fucking die from happiness. I think I was smiling. I hoped I was. I couldn't lift my hands to touch Rey because she leaned on them with her knees. I wonder if Rey wanted to see my dick. I just wanted to touch... _Rey._

"Rey?" I gasped from between clenched teeth. 

Rey shook her head, her lips tight. "I'm really sorry, Ben. I fucking botched it. Yet again." Rey sighed. Oh no. Rey was sad. Don't be sad, Rey. Rey. Rey. 

Rey kissed her finger tips and pressed them to my lips and the convulsing stopped, only for me to go completely stiff like a metal pole. Ow. Ow. Okay, this hurt. 

"I'm sorry, Ben." Something shiny in Rey's hand. Pretty Rey. 

Cold, hard, sharp. Sparkly. Like Rey. 

She reached up and slammed down. It cut into my chest, and it hurt. Oh. Ow. 

I staggered out a breath. Fuck. 

Fuck! Oh _FUCK!_ My arms suddenly flew up, hands ripped out from under Rey. I was finally able to move. I thrashed around like a wild animal while blood gushed from my chest and I gurgled from my lungs filling to the brim with the warmth. I tried to grab for her but she jumped off and away. I was furious. And it hurt. Fuck! Fuck, it _hurt!_

Rey stood above me while I tried to curse her out, but no words came out, just cold blackness rolled in and up my body. It hurt. I hated her. I hated her. Why the fuck did she do this to me? 

I loved her.

"I'm really, really sorry Ben... But we'll try again tomorrow, okay? One more time. Just one more time. I'm sorry."

Her words meant nothing to me. Only the icy cold and numb and pain and nothing and everything soared around me, whiteness exploding into blackness. I coughed one last time, hot blood splattering against my face. Then my breath died. 

And then so did I.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idfk ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now going into present tense. 
> 
> Also, I added some shit to the last two chapters if you wanna go reread those. Next chapter will be added later tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to the overwhelming abundance of readers begging me (okay two people asked and I kind of wanted to continue anyways) here's another chapter. Don't shoot me when the chapter count reaches 50. 😂

Gods, I feel like _shit. _

I clutch my chest and groan. Good thing I don't have school today... I drank so much last night that now I'm hungover and don't remember much of anything. D&D night... I wonder what happened. Did we finally kill that stupid, over powered dragon? 

I roll over on my side and hiss suddenly, grabbing at my chest again. Was I hit by a car or something? Jesusss... I finally crack open my eyes and gasp at the horrible black bruising and the scabbed over cut right in the center of my chest. 

I shuffle up quickly against my wall and stare down at the big, ugly bastard. _Holy shit._ What the hell happened to me last night?! I hop up out of bed and trip from my feet being tangled up in the sheets. I smack into the ground hard and realize with total horror that my arms and shoulders are also totally bruised up. 

"What the fuck!" I growl, incredulous. Did the guys beat me up last night? How much did I drink? Holy shit. Someone was gonna explain this to me. _Now._

I rip the phone off the wall and punch Poe's number in with too much vigor and I accidentally misdial and call the wrong house. I growl against and redial properly this time and tap my fingers on the counter while the phone rests between my cheek and shoulder. I rub my chest angrily and glare at the stove while the phone rings, and rings. 

A sudden flash of that girl, Rey, the one from school shoots across my vision and my skin suddenly feels cold. Ice cold. Like ice cream. She was there. She wrote her number on my hand... But there was nothing there. I clench my jaw and smash my eyes shut. What the hell! 

"Answer the fucking phone, you rat bastard -" I mutter. 

"Dameron residence. Shara speaking."

"Oh. Hey Shara, it's Ben. Is Poe awake? I need to talk to him."

She chuckles. "Hi, Ben. He'd better be awake. It's 4 o'clock in the damn afternoon. Hang on." She yells off into the distance for Poe while I keep rubbing my chest, irritated beyond belief. I'm gonna kick the dog shit out of him when I see him. Shara would probably be pissed though... 

Poe picks up the line with a yawn. Of course he's still sleeping. Prick. "Hey man, what's up?" 

"What the fuck happened last night?!" I hiss. 

Poe is silent for a minute. "What do you mean? I didn't see you last night. I had a date with Kaydel."

My brain pauses for a minute while I look around the orange kitchen. "What... No you didn't, that was Friday night. I'm talking about last night, D&D? Remember? You idiot."

"You're the fucking idiot dude, today is Saturday. You're buggin', bud." He chuckle and I hear him pouring a glass of something. 

I shake my head, whipping my hair around. "No - no! Today is Sunday and I woke up with this weird thing in my chest and -"

"Oh, hold on dude." Poe cuts me off. "Yeah, I love you too Mom. I'll see you tomorrow. Yes, bright and early. Uh huh. Love you. Bye." Poe clears his throat. "Anyways, I don't know what you did last night but tonight is D&D. The girls are coming." He groans. "How are we supposed to get anything done with those little hot sluts around is beyond me, but I ain't complaining." Poe laughs. 

I scratch my head and look around the house. Shara was leaving so it must be... Saturday? But how?

"But Rey -"

"Oh yeah dude, Rey is gonna be there. Maybe she can suck your dick and calm you down, bud." He laughs as he chews loudly in my ear. 

Poe yammers on for awhile about how he groped Kaydel in the parking lot of a Circle K but I can't give a fuck. I must be losing my mind. Losing days... The nightmare must have really fucked with me. I pinch the bridge of my nose and cut Poe off. 

"Yeah, cool, cool, rad, man. I gotta go. Shower and stuff. I'll see you tonight." 

"Grab a case of beer dude!"

I hang up and sink to the floor. I'm going bat shit crazy. I fist my hair at the roots and tug as hard as I can without pulling my hair out. Just to make sure I'm real. 

Just to make sure that anything was real.


End file.
